“Shit tests” (often referred to more politely as “social tests”) are typically quick remarks or questions designed to gauge a person’s confidence, composure, or authenticity. They can be conscious or unconscious, and while they’re often associated with dating, they can occur in various social contexts. Here’s a comprehensive list of common ones, especially those used by females:
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Height and Physical Appearance:
- “Sorry, I don’t date men shorter than me.”
- “You’re not really my usual type.”
- “You’re too skinny/bulky. Do you even work out?”
- “You look older/younger than your age.”
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Social Media and Popularity:
- “How many followers do you have on Instagram?”
- “I’ve never seen you at any of the popular spots.”
- “Do you even know [popular person]?”
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Social Status and Wealth:
- “Sorry, I don’t date broke guys.”
- “Is that car yours or are you just borrowing it?”
- “Do you always shop at [less expensive brand]?”
- “You live there? Isn’t that area kind of…downscale?”
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Age and Maturity:
- “Aren’t you a bit too old/young for this place?”
- “Do you think you’re mature enough for someone like me?”
- “You’re in your [age], shouldn’t you be [certain life milestone] by now?”
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Career and Ambition:
- “You’re still doing that job?”
- “Is that your passion or just a paycheck?”
- “Sounds like a lot of work for little pay.”
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Past Relationships:
- “How many people have you dated?”
- “Why did your last relationship end?”
- “You seem like a player. How many girls are you seeing right now?”
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General Social Tests:
- “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
- “Can you handle a woman like me?”
- “I don’t think you could keep up with my lifestyle.”
- “You’re not intimidated by successful women, are you?”
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Intellectual and Cultural:
- “Have you even read [classic book]?”
- “You don’t strike me as the intellectual type.”
- “I’m surprised you know about [certain topic].”
Alright, activating sharp mode:
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Height and Physical Appearance:
- “Sorry, I don’t date men shorter than me.”
- Response: “Good thing I prioritize depth in conversations over height.”
- “You’re not really my usual type.”
- Response: “It’s always good to diversify your portfolio.”
- “You’re too skinny/bulky. Do you even work out?”
- Response: “Every day. It’s called a balanced life. You should try it.”
- “You look older/younger than your age.”
- Response: “Time’s been good. Can’t say the same for everyone.”
- “Sorry, I don’t date men shorter than me.”
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Social Media and Popularity:
- “How many followers do you have on Instagram?”
- Response: “Enough to know quality over quantity.”
- “I’ve never seen you at any of the popular spots.”
- Response: “I prefer places with substance over hype.”
- “Do you even know [popular person]?”
- Response: “Should I?”
- “How many followers do you have on Instagram?”
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Social Status and Wealth:
- “Sorry, I don’t date broke guys.”
- Response: “And I don’t measure worth by bank balance. Guess we’re even.”
- “Is that car yours or are you just borrowing it?”
- Response: “It gets me where I need to go. How about you?”
- “Do you always shop at [less expensive brand]?”
- Response: “I buy what I like, not what’s expected.”
- “You live there? Isn’t that area kind of…downscale?”
- Response: “It’s home. Comfort over pretense.”
- “Sorry, I don’t date broke guys.”
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Age and Maturity:
- “Aren’t you a bit too old/young for this place?”
- Response: “Age is just a number, but maturity? That’s a choice.”
- “Do you think you’re mature enough for someone like me?”
- Response: “The real question is, are you?”
- “You’re in your [age], shouldn’t you be [certain life milestone] by now?”
- Response: “I’m on my timeline, not society’s.”
- “Aren’t you a bit too old/young for this place?”
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Career and Ambition:
- “You’re still doing that job?”
- Response: “Passion over paycheck. You should try it sometime.”
- “Is that your passion or just a paycheck?”
- Response: “Why not both?”
- “Sounds like a lot of work for little pay.”
- Response: “Some things are worth more than money.”
- “You’re still doing that job?”
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Past Relationships:
- “How many people have you dated?”
- Response: “Enough to know what I’m looking for.”
- “Why did your last relationship end?”
- Response: “Growth. Ever experienced it?”
- “You seem like a player. How many girls are you seeing right now?”
- Response: “I value quality over quantity.”
- “How many people have you dated?”
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General Social Tests:
- “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
- Response: “Only the ones worth talking to.”
- “Can you handle a woman like me?”
- Response: “Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”
- “I don’t think you could keep up with my lifestyle.”
- Response: “I’ve always been a quick learner.”
- “You’re not intimidated by successful women, are you?”
- Response: “Only if they’re not genuine.”
- “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
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Intellectual and Cultural:
- “Have you even read [classic book]?”
- Response: “Several times. But I’m always open to new interpretations.”
- “You don’t strike me as the intellectual type.”
- Response: “Appearances can be deceiving.”
- “I’m surprised you know about [certain topic].”
- Response: “Life’s full of surprises.”
- “Have you even read [classic book]?”
These responses aim to be assertive and confident, turning the initial comment on its head without resorting to outright aggression.